


Forgiveness

by StarScreamLoki



Category: Loki - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Dark, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Oral Sex, Rape, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-22
Updated: 2018-07-22
Packaged: 2019-06-14 15:24:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15391728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarScreamLoki/pseuds/StarScreamLoki
Summary: Requested by Anon: I kinda liked that Loki muse blurb/fic in the bath but I’ve had some not that great experiences in the past, and I was wondering if you’d be willing to do something like that fic but where the readers a rape/sexual abuse victim and instead of the whole seduction stuff at the end, it’s fluffy and he apologizes and comforts her?





	Forgiveness

**Author's Note:**

> So I got this request to write a non-con and it turned out pretty dark and angsty. If this isn’t your cup of tea I politely ask you to move on and not nail me to a cross or something. The warnings are in place and from this point it is up to you if you read it or not!

“You can all go, except you.”

You were a little bit startled as Loki pointed to you but you gave a little nod and looked down to the floor.

You and the other maids had been called to Loki's chambers to clean up. It had looked like he had been caught up in a rage and trashed a lot of his belongings to vent frustration, but it was not your place to ask and thus you and your fellow chamber maids had cleaned everything under his scrutinizing glare. More than once had you caught him looking at you causing shivers to run down your spine but you hadn't paid it to much heed and just had done your job.

From your peripheral vision you saw the other maids dip a courtesy and they took their leave, leaving you alone with the prince.

You felt how he moved in front of you when the door closed and his hand under your chin forced you to look up. His emerald eyes were set hard, his lips a thin line and his overall demeanor was dark, malicious even.

“M-my Liege?” you stuttered and a small smile played on his lips but it send shivers down your spine, making the hairs on your neck stand straight. What did he want from you?

The answer to that came quickly as you felt Loki's lips crash down on yours, nothing sweet or caring but harsh and possessive while his hands ran down the lacing of your dress on the back. It took a moment before you were aware of what was going on and tried to pull away but he would not let you go and a little bubble of panic rose in your stomach.

You put your hands on his chest to push away and he finally broke the contact of your lips and quickly you spun away from him, the malicious smile on his lips still unsettling you.

He laughed, “feisty little girl,” he purred and walked closer again. “I like that.”

You tried to back away and frantically eyed the door but he blocked your path and soon you felt a wall hit your back while he still advanced on you, his eyes gleaming.

“No. NO!” you forcefully said trying to inch away along the wall but Loki was fast and on you before you could blink. You tried to push him away again, your fists slamming his chest but he only laughed. “No. Go away. Don't touch me!” you spat at him still trying to push him away, but it felt like shoving against a golden pilar - it was of no use.

Loki leaned forwards, his mouth next to your ear, his breath hot as he spoke, “scream all you want, nobody can hear you.”

You felt how his hand snaked behind your back and undid the lacing of your dress. Quickly you crossed your arms above your breasts to catch your falling dress and Loki leaned a little back to look at you and bared his teeth in a devilish grin. He grabbed your wrists and pulled your arms aside, your dress sliding down your frame and pooling around your ankles.

“Fight all you want but in the end I will get what I want,” Loki growled. With a quick few steps he forced you on his bed and before you were well aware your undergarments were gone, leaving you naked and exposed on his bed.

“No, I will not have this!” you screamed at him trying to scramble off the bed but a green flash of magic forced you on your back on the bed. You trashed but his Seidr was strong and you felt how his magic pinned your arms beside you, locking you on the bed.

That was when you felt the tears sting your eyes and you knew any fight was futile. He would have what he wanted and today it apparently was you and it didn't matter if you were willing or not.

Loki climbed on the bed, whisking his clothing away with his magic and you tried to kick him. Swiftly he pushed your legs to the bed and climbed over you, sitting down on your ribs below your breasts. Your eyes grew wide at the sight of his hardness falling between your breasts and you started to trash again. “Get off me!” you screamed at him hysterical but that made him only grin more.

“Oh no,” he said malicious, “I will have you whether you want it or not,” and he scooted up a little, placing himself above your breasts, his hardness gracing your chin. “Open your mouth,” he commanded.

You threw your head to the side and clenched your jaw shut, pushing your lips tightly together and squeezing your eyes shut.

Loki breezed a frustrated and angry sigh through his nose and he grabbed your jaw, turning your head back, his fingers painfully digging into your cheeks and forcing your mouth to open.

You let out a choking scream as he pushed himself inside your mouth, apparently not caring that your teeth raked his flesh, and you gagged at the sudden intrusion, tears spilling down your cheeks. You thought about biting down but as if he read your mind he berated you, “don't even think about closing your jaw right now,” and you felt something cold and sharp press against your cheek. You carefully peeked over the rim of your tear-filled eyes and saw the gleaming metal of a dagger and quickly you squeezed your eyes shut again.

He started to move his hips slowly and you tried to push up the back of your tongue to keep him from pushing further down your throat and making you gag, but it was to no avail and all you could do was surrender, try to relax and breath through your nose which wasn't an easy feat between your sobs and the tears.

Why? Why had it to be you? There were plenty of other people in this damned palace and probably a lot who were willing to have sex with him, so why not one of them but you?

Another sob tried to force its way out of you, but with Loki still moving inside your mouth you almost choked on it and you gagged, struggling to keep control of a convulsion that ripped through your body.

Somewhere far away you could hear Loki moan softly and carefully you opened your eyes to look at him. You weren't sure why you wanted to do that, maybe it was curiosity or maybe it was a slight sense of getting any form of control, but you quickly realized it was a mistake. You squeezed your eyes shut again but Loki had seen you look at him and he grinned. 

He stopped moving, granting you a moment of respite and he spoke amused but with a hint of darkness. “Open your eyes,” he commanded but you didn't want to give him the satisfaction and kept your eyes shut.

You felt the cold metal of the blade travel down your cheek to your neck. “Open your eyes!” Loki demanded again and he put a little pressure on the blade. You did as he commanded and you saw him grin. “You like that, don't you? Watching while you I have my way with you,” and he continued to move his hips.

Your vision blurred with new tears and it made you somewhat relieved you couldn't see him through the haze.

Suddenly you could feel his cold hand on your breast, involuntary making your nipple hard and he chuckled. Slowly his hand started to travel down your stomach, his cold touch sending little pricks through your veins, goosebumps crawling over your skin.

You crossed your legs instinctively as he reached your hip which only drew another chuckle from him. His hand kept traveling downward snaking between your legs and his fingers graced the sensitive bundle of nerves sending a shiver down your spine before he pushed one finger inside you.

He suddenly stopped his lazy movement of his hips. “My, my. So dry. I think I can change that,” and he pulled out of your mouth leaving you panting to finally get some much needed air inside your lungs.

When you finally caught your breath he had already lowered himself over you, his tongue traveling along the same path his hand had and you felt the cold knife trail down your naked flesh as well. You turned to a sobbing mess again, begging him to stop, but he didn't. It almost looked like as if it spurred him on more as his hums sounded satisfied.

His head was on your hips now, his tongue just below your navel and with his hand still between your legs he tried to spread them. You crossed your ankles and feet, putting pressure on your thighs to keep your legs locked.

Loki stopped for a moment and looked at you from his position on your hips with a scrutinizing glare. He laughed. “I already told you I will get what I want,” and you felt how his Seidr hooked on your ankles and untangled them, spreading your legs wide.

“No, no. Stop this!” you begged through your tears. “I don't want this!”

He looked at your exposed sex, a low guttural growl coming from the back of his throat as his hands glided over your thighs and hips, the cold touch making you shiver.

Without warning he dipped his head between your legs, his tongue lapping over your clit and you felt his fingers dig into your hips painfully as you tried to buck away from his touch. You screamed which only seemed to feed Loki more in his doings and you felt the pleasurable shivers - mixed with a feeling of horror - course through your body.

You gasped as Loki pushed one finger inside you, not able to keep it from escaping your lips. You heard him chuckle in the back of his throat while his tongue never faltered.

It was futile to fight him and you stopped your struggling, letting your body fall limp while shots of pleasure coursed through your veins. You cursed your treacherous body for liking his touch so much and when he pushed another finger inside you all you could do was let out a frustrated moan.

You could feel the hazy cloud of pleasure take you away and for a brief moment you forgot you didn't want this, just enjoying his skillful fingers and tongue working you. But reality came crashing down on you when he stopped his ministrations with his tongue for a moment to speak. “You like that, don't you?” he chuckled, his fingers still teasing the sensitive spot inside you. 

The tears came back to your eyes, your breath panting from the exhaustion from fighting him and tears it had brought, but also from the sudden pleasure that had made you moan and leaving you breathless.

You didn't answer him but just squeezed your eyes shut with the shame you felt. How could something that you so vigorously didn't want be so pleasurable at the same time?

“Look at me,” Loki commanded but you shook your head. You didn't want to look at him! You hated him so why would you put yourself through that torture? Something cold pressed against your thigh suddenly reminding you why you hadn't closed your eyes sooner, his fingers still working inside you.

With a shivering sigh you opened your eyes and met his. You were taken aback by the malice you saw there and you swallowed.

“Good girl,” he crooned and you felt his fingers slowly slide out of you. “Told you I could fix that dryness,” and he grinned evil.

You felt the magic that kept your legs apart loosen a little, the strain on your muscles became less and you breathed somewhat of a relief as the discomfort of that strain left your body.

Loki's hands snaked up your body - the knife gone but you couldn't care less how or where - his hands kneading your breasts and his thumbs flicking over your nipples again.

He leaned forward to kiss you but you clamped your lips shut while his tongue darted over them. He growled frustrated and pulled away. “All right, now I'm done with your defiance,” he said angrily and suddenly his fingers dug painfully in your sides - probably leaving more bruises - and with a fluid motion he flicked you to your stomach.

You struggled trying to fight him off again but a strong hand pushed between your shoulder blades, pinning you down. “No, no! Stop this!” you screamed but he roughly spread your legs again and lowered himself over you, his skin cold to your hot back. You felt his hardness press against your wet folds and you felt his hot breath in your ear. “I will have you,” he growled.

Slowly he pushed inside you, agonizing inch by inch and you pushed your face in the pillow and screamed. It wasn't painful, on the contrary, but you just wanted to scream in frustration because there was nothing you could do. You couldn't fight him off no matter how hard you had tried but you just weren't a match for someone this strong and with his magical abilities.

Loki started to move, thrusting in and out of you while you buried your head deeper in the pillow, still begging him to stop, screaming and crying. You felt his hand glide over arm and into your hair where he tangled them. Suddenly he janked your head back by your hair, lifting your head from the pillow. A startled and pained scream escaped your lips and halted your sobbing, the awkward angle putting a strain on your neck.

His face was close to your head again and you felt his panting breath in your ear sending shivers down your spine.

Loki started to nibble your ear as his trusting became more aggressive and you felt your body react. Your sobbing and screaming stopped as you fell slave to the pleasure your body was receiving, your mind firmly disagreeing and not wanting to like it but there was nothing you could do.

Loki stopped the nibbling on your ear and you could feel his orgasm rise. Your treacherous body did the same and your walls clenched around him while he rode his high as well. More tears started to spill down your cheeks even though you thought those long deprived by now.

Loki still had your head janked back with that painful pull on your hair and he whispered in your ear. “Oh, you enjoyed that just as much as I did, Little One,” he purred.

That was when you lost it. “GET OFF ME YOU MONSTER!” you screamed. “YOU HAD YOUR FUN, GET OF! LET ME GO!”

Instead of letting go he pushed your face in the pillow, cutting of your tantrum and making you struggle for breath. You felt him pull out, his seed trickling along your inner thigh while it slowly streamed out of you and he leaned forward to growl in your ear. “I told you I always get what I want,” and he let go of your head.

Immediately you pulled away from the pillow and gasped for air while Loki rolled off you to his side to look at you.

You tried to scramble away but his magic held you in place and you started to whimper. His hand reached for your face and his thumb gently stroked the lower lip of your mouth.

You shivered at his touch. “Let me go,” you sighed expharated, all will to fight drained from your body.

Loki's eyes narrowed. “Leave,” he commanded vicious and you felt his Seidr evaporate and releasing you.

Quickly you scrambled of his bed, grabbed your dress from the floor while painfully aware he watched your every move. Not even bothering to put your dress on, cradling it against your naked body to cover up a little bit of yourself, you scurried out of his room.

 

***

 

For two days you had been able to avoid Loki. Mostly because you were assigned other chores to do in the palace and part because you treated very careful around the place, making sure not to just bump into him. But nothing lasted forever and when you and some other maids were send to his room you felt a stone drop in your stomach.

With heavy feet you dragged yourself to his chambers and furiously hoped he wasn't around, but no such luck was with you and you - and the other maids - cleaned and tidied his room under his scrutinizing glare.

When you were all done and ready to leave he once more ordered you to stay while your fellow maids could leave.

A thousand possible scenarios ran through your mind and fear lodged itself into your heart. You breathed heavy in anxiety, the bruises from your last encounter with him had not even started to fade yet.

You heard the door shut and you looked at the floor, tears already burning your eyes. You felt his cold hand under your chin as he pushed your head upwards to look at him and you squeezed your eyes shut.

“Look at me,” Loki bade you. His voice was softer than you imagined it would be, almost pleasant and not so raw as it had been two days ago. His thumb cherished your mouth and he softly whispered, “please?”

Your eyes flew open at his unexpected question. The God of Trickery saying ‘please’? He must be sick and out of his mind! But once your eyes focused and you could look past the haze from your welling tears, you saw no malice or joke in his eyes. His face was completely blank and you couldn't read his expression.

You pushed his hand from your lips and took a few steps away from him, scurrying alongside the wall as your body kicked itself in flight-mode, your brain still not forgotten what he had done to you. “What do you want, Loki?” you asked him fiercely but couldn't hide the frightened quiver in your voice.

Loki looked at you and bristled, his brows furrowed and you could hear him swallow. “I-” he started but swallowed again. He looked at the floor and a little bit of redness crept up his pale cheeks. “I want to apologize for my behavior,” he whispered.

You stared at him, your mouth falling open and you were completely perplexed. What was he thinking? That he could just apologize for what he had done and everything would be fine? You felt an angry bile rise in the back of your throat. “Why?” you asked with a shaky voice but you failed to keep the anger from your tone.

His head shot up and he gave you a confusing glare. “What do you mean?” he asked looking vulnerable and small.

You sputtered. “What- how?” for a moment you seemed lost for words but suddenly the angry bile hit the culprit in your stomach and the words flooded out of you. “Don't you play stupid with me! Why suddenly apologize while you know damn well what you did was wrong! You used me! You abused and hurted me, and I may be a lowly servant but that does not make it right!” You were fuming now and Loki seemed to cringe with every word you spat at him. “You cannot expect to do all that and just simply apologize and think I'm fine and will forgive you! I told you to stop, I told you I didn't want it, so pray tell me why, why did you do it? You could have a hundred other women - or man for that matter - yet you picked me. I, who was unwilling! You-”

“BECAUSE YOU DIDN’T WANT IT!” he screamed at you and you felt yourself cringe, your body instinctively trying to make itself small. “I did it because you denied me and what one cannot have is the greatest allure.” His voice had gone from angry to small and when he continued to speak he sounded as small as you felt. “Because I was angry. Because I needed to vent frustration.” Loki looked at the floor and the redness on his cheeks intensified.

“And raping me was the answer to that?” you asked him coldly.

Loki cringed again but didn't answer.

“You are an arrogant and spoiled monster of a prince,” you spat venomously. “You can apologize all you want but I'm not very inclined on forgiving you nor accepting your apology,” you spoke softly.

Loki swallowed again and you saw a tear brim his eye. “I understand yet I dread that. I shouldn't have treated and used you in that way, no matter what my excuse for none will justify it.”

You were a little shocked at his words because they showed he had insight in what he had done and he wasn't trying to make excuses or cover his horrible deed. Yet you couldn't quite shake the feeling that everything was alright with those words.

“What can I do to make it up to you?” he asked with a small voice and fidgeted with his hands.

“There is nothing that you can do - or what I want - to make this alright. You hurted me, you ignored my wishes and took advantage of your position and power. You have sunken very low for someone of your status.” You tapped a finger to your lip as you seemed to muse over something and you could see your words had hit home because that tear that had brimmed his eyelid now trailed down his cheek.

“I want you to make a promise to me. And maybe,  _ maybe  _ then I might be able to forgive you, but I will not forget. But tell me first…” you inhaled before asking the question that was burning your lips, very much in need for the extra oxygen before asking him this loaded question. “Tell me, have you ever done this before?” 

The question was very personal, and you weren't sure you wanted to know the answer to that question, but you had to know otherwise his promise would be entirely futile.

Loki briefly looked at you and then back to the floor. He softly shook his head. “No.”

“Then promise me you'll never ever do this again. Not to me, not to any other!” you weren't sure if he would comply, let alone speak truthfully, he was, after all, the God of Lies. But something inside you, something in the way he looked at you, made you believe he would answer truthfully.

Slowly Loki nodded and spoke almost inaudible, “I promise.”

“I didn't hear that,” you lied to him. It wasn't as much you wanted to control him but you just wanted him to say it out loud so maybe it would stick in his thick skull and make you feel better.

He looked up and gave you a scrutinizing glare and you thought you had pushed your luck, but his face fell and he spoke again, this time loud enough to hear, “I promise I won't do it again.”

“Good!” you stated coldly and made for the door.

“W-wait!” he exclaimed a little confused but some underlying tone of fright grazed his voice. “Do- Do you forgive me?” he asked uncertain.

You turned and looked at him, contemplating if you would or not. “Can you?” he asked softly and clearly ashamed.

“I forgive you but I will not forget.”

**Author's Note:**

> After this Loki deserves some severe punishment - and not of the pleasurable kind - and a firm talk about how this is NOT how you treat someone no matter if that person is a servant or a king/queen! And I’m going to hell for this.


End file.
